What’s Your Take

I am an advocate of female independence but not to the extent of blatant disregard or disrespect to the male folk. I believe in women doing stuff for themselves and not waiting on the male folk to do stuff for them. I can guess you’ve probably heard women say that men should take care of women and this care, involves buying them expensive gifts, taking them to fancy dinners and practically paying for all their bills.

I’m not here to say that men shouldn’t pamper the women they love neither am I going to tell the female folk to get a life and start paying their bills instead of waiting for the men in their lives; all am going to do is paint a few scenarios and plead your indulgence to tell me your take on this issue.

We were talking sometime ago and we delved into relationship issues and what individuals go through in the name of being in a relationship. Someone among us made a statement thus; ” I cannot spend a dine on a man who expects me to pick up the bill after him, cook his meals, do his laundry and also expect me to do all the calling and ultimately sleep with me” she finally concluded by saying “once beaten, twice shy”

Scenario 1: James and Jane are  dating, they are seemingly in love and He treats her like a queen, calls her as often as he can, pays for dinner, picks her calls promptly, remembers her birthdays and surprises her with little gifts from time to time and never makes excuses on how busy or tight his schedules are and ensures that her needs are top priority. She doesn’t worry her pretty little head about how to pay her bills because she’s found  a reliable ATM(Automated Teller Machine) in James. she wonders why girls complain men don’t spend on women.

Scenario 2: Peter and Prisca have a different tale, Prisca makes excuses for Peter on the grounds that his busy schedule doesn’t permit him to call her, or take her to dinner or when he takes her to dinner he comes up with excuses on how his ATM card is temporarily out of service and he hates to carry cash or how he assumed the restaurant accepts debit cards;  hence, the reason he has to borrow some money from her to pay for dinner with the intent of paying but he never does, or his reason to cash in on mobile network free night call promo keeping her awake at night discussing irrelevant issues or his incessant habit of forgetting important dates and not being able to pick her calls during the day time because his choked up at work and barely has time for lunch.

scenario 3: Shank and Sheila have a different arrangement, they both share everything, they take turns to give each other a treat, not waiting on the other to do something. They love themselves and her both ready to come to a compromise, Sheila pays for dinner when Shank is broke, Shank tries as much as he can to meet sheila’s needs and she in turn meets him half way. They communicate freely without work schedules coming in between and understands when either one of them has to be away. they don’t forget important dates and ensure each one is memorable.

From all scenarios painted, what should be the role of both parties in a relationship, should it be the exclusive preserve of just a partner or should it be a partnership between two people who love themselves and are willing to make the sacrifice. Bear in mind the African perception that men should take care for their women, What’s your Take? ciao

Thieves or What…?

downloadI woke up at about pass 11pm to the sound of a male and female voice, it sounded like an argument was going on, I went back to sleep almost immediately because I was unsure where the voices were coming from. Few minutes later I jolted out of bed to heavy pounding on the door, it sounded like it was my door and this time I was startled.

As I sat up in bed wondering who could be pounding on my door, I noticed the sound had changed and all I could hear was heavy blows to the wall, it felt like the walls were being broken, so I tip toed out of my room and woke up other occupants in my house and asked them if they had heard anything, they said yes and so we stayed together praying that the sound wasn’t of forced entry.

We listened for what seemed like an eternity and then the pounding stopped,thoughts raised in my head as I tried to make sense of everything. I wondered what the security men were up to that they were so quiet and occupants  of the  other flats if they were deaf  to the strange sounds. I live in a one story building and occupy one of the flats  up, I went round the house praying and checking that it wasn’t thieves.

Immediately, I moved back into my sitting room I heard muffled voices, I listened carefully and realized it was a couple having a fight in one of the flats. I sighed with relief that it wasn’t thieves as I had imagined. But I suddenly became worried, I thought to myself; hope the earlier poundings I heard wasn’t blows being administered to a human body.

Lately, sad tales of violence in the home especially to women and children has been making rounds on the internet, newspapers, and all sorts of media and it is heart breaking that these violent actions are being inflicted by fellow humans, this is a wake up call to everyone, lets arise and fight against violence, speak out and lets end this menace. I pray none of us will be victims of any kind of violence. Ciao