What’s Your Take


I am an advocate of female independence but not to the extent of blatant disregard or disrespect to the male folk. I believe in women doing stuff for themselves and not waiting on the male folk to do stuff for them. I can guess you’ve probably heard women say that men should take care of women and this care, involves buying them expensive gifts, taking them to fancy dinners and practically paying for all their bills.

I’m not here to say that men shouldn’t pamper the women they love neither am I going to tell the female folk to get a life and start paying their bills instead of waiting for the men in their lives; all am going to do is paint a few scenarios and plead your indulgence to tell me your take on this issue.

We were talking sometime ago and we delved into relationship issues and what individuals go through in the name of being in a relationship. Someone among us made a statement thus; ” I cannot spend a dine on a man who expects me to pick up the bill after him, cook his meals, do his laundry and also expect me to do all the calling and ultimately sleep with me” she finally concluded by saying “once beaten, twice shy”

Scenario 1: James and Jane are  dating, they are seemingly in love and He treats her like a queen, calls her as often as he can, pays for dinner, picks her calls promptly, remembers her birthdays and surprises her with little gifts from time to time and never makes excuses on how busy or tight his schedules are and ensures that her needs are top priority. She doesn’t worry her pretty little head about how to pay her bills because she’s found  a reliable ATM(Automated Teller Machine) in James. she wonders why girls complain men don’t spend on women.

Scenario 2: Peter and Prisca have a different tale, Prisca makes excuses for Peter on the grounds that his busy schedule doesn’t permit him to call her, or take her to dinner or when he takes her to dinner he comes up with excuses on how his ATM card is temporarily out of service and he hates to carry cash or how he assumed the restaurant accepts debit cards;  hence, the reason he has to borrow some money from her to pay for dinner with the intent of paying but he never does, or his reason to cash in on mobile network free night call promo keeping her awake at night discussing irrelevant issues or his incessant habit of forgetting important dates and not being able to pick her calls during the day time because his choked up at work and barely has time for lunch.

scenario 3: Shank and Sheila have a different arrangement, they both share everything, they take turns to give each other a treat, not waiting on the other to do something. They love themselves and her both ready to come to a compromise, Sheila pays for dinner when Shank is broke, Shank tries as much as he can to meet sheila’s needs and she in turn meets him half way. They communicate freely without work schedules coming in between and understands when either one of them has to be away. they don’t forget important dates and ensure each one is memorable.

From all scenarios painted, what should be the role of both parties in a relationship, should it be the exclusive preserve of just a partner or should it be a partnership between two people who love themselves and are willing to make the sacrifice. Bear in mind the African perception that men should take care for their women, What’s your Take? ciao

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